Love, Faith and Fallout: Popular Church Expels Bride for Denying Husband Marital Intimacy Five Months After Marriage
Love, Faith and Fallout: Popular Church Expels Bride for Denying Husband Marital Intimacy Five Months After Marriage
•••Experts Cite Psychological Concerns
A marriage that began with celebration in September 2025 has spiralled into controversy, spiritual accusations, and eventual excommunication, after a newlywed woman allegedly refused to consummate her union with her husband.
Eagles Sight News gathers that the incident involves members of Holiness Revival Movement Worldwide, an Abuja-based church, which announced the expulsion of the bride, Oyiza, following months of internal mediation that reportedly failed to resolve the crisis between her and her husband, Isaac.
The couple, who resided in Ibadan, Oyo State, formalised their relationship on September 6, 2025, after completing traditional rites in Okene, Kogi State, and a court wedding in Ibadan. However, shortly after the ceremonies, tensions surfaced when the bride allegedly began resisting marital intimacy.
According to reports, Oyiza maintained that she did not love her husband and claimed she had been pressured into the marriage by her mother.
Efforts by both families and church leaders to reconcile the couple reportedly yielded no success.
In a video shared on the church’s YouTube channel in February, the International Director of the movement, Pastor Paul Rika, publicly declared her expulsion after what he described as five months of unsuccessful counselling and intervention.
During the announcement, he labelled her a “demon” and stated that disciplinary action had become necessary.
“So, we have delivered her to Satan. We have expelled, excommunicated her. You want to bring shame, what do you mean that you don’t love Isaac?” he queried.
Referencing cultural traditions of earlier generations, he said brides were expected to adjust to marriage regardless of their emotions.
“Even the harlots, do they sleep with those that love them? It’s business. So, how do you say you don’t love Isaac after accepting him, and you say you don’t love? Demon!” he added.
Isaac, for his part, explained that Oyiza had initially agreed to the marriage when he expressed his intention to wed her. Based on her consent, the church’s marriage committee approved the process, leading to the wedding preparations.
However, he disclosed that months before the ceremony, she began expressing uncertainty and reportedly said she had lost feelings for him.
“I thought this could be spiritual and we should pray. The marriage committee also counselled her to go and pray. She returned and said she was convinced and that was how we proceeded,” he added.
Following the completion of both traditional and court rites, the marriage was formally recognised.
Photos that later circulated on Facebook showed the bride appearing cheerful among friends and church members during the celebration. But Isaac said the atmosphere changed almost immediately after the wedding.
“After the wedding, she started complaining again that she no longer had feelings for me. She had also started misbehaving, but because of the fervent love I had for her, I accommodated her deficiencies and lapses, thinking that things will change.
“After the marriage, in the hotel where we lodged, I touched her, but she said we should wait for a brief period of time. I asked for her reasons; she did not give me any cogent reason.
She had also said she did not like sex all the time. I was also a virgin and was not involved in such things. I agreed we won’t make love in the hotel. So, we said when we get to Ibadan.
“We accompanied her, myself and her mother, to the park. She started crying at the park, saying, ‘Mummy, can you see now, when I said I don’t love this man, can you see it now. See the condition you pushed me into now’.”
According to Isaac, his in-laws urged him to remain patient and avoid publicising the issue. When the disagreement persisted, he reported the matter to a church leader in Lokoja and later to his pastor in Ibadan.
Despite multiple counselling sessions — including one in which his wife reportedly wept — Isaac claimed her stance did not change.
“She would tell me almost every time, ‘No love, no joy, no peace,’” he stated.
He further alleged that she accused him of attempted rape whenever he initiated intimacy.
“It was a battle. Sometimes, she would just open up herself and say, ‘Do whatever you want to do.’ But I did not also know all these things.”
He said church-led counselling and sexual guidance sessions failed to bring improvement.
“It’s not just about sex. Even bathing. She said she loved me to bath at night. I bath virtually all night. But sometimes, if I don’t bath, she would hold my neck, telling me to go and bath. She would force me. Our leaders would intervene, asking her to release herself, but she refused.
“One day, she called some little children into our room to discourage me from touching her. But I ignored the children and continued touching her. A Muslim woman, who is our neighbour, saw us arguing as she was saying, ‘Do you want to rape me?’ She queried her for saying that. But she said, ‘No, I don’t love him. I have told him before. My mother forced me.’”
Describing the marriage as restrictive, Isaac said:
“If I came back from work, to sit on the dining table, she would say no. I was not even free until I bathed and changed my clothes. It was a struggle.
“In the kitchen, if she was cooking and I returned home tired, she would ask me to come and join her because I promised to assist her in the kitchen. Everything was like I was in a cage.”
He maintained that he made consistent efforts to demonstrate affection but felt his gestures were not reciprocated.
Oyiza was absent during the church’s announcement and has not publicly responded to the allegations. Attempts to reach her were unsuccessful.
Before the expulsion decision, Pastor Rika disclosed that his wife reportedly received a spiritual revelation concerning Oyiza.
According to him, his wife claimed Oyiza was “a marine girl who is married to a marine demon and they have children together.”
He further stated that “this demon is a harsh type, highly jealous type that will never allow her marry another, and the covenant with the demon is that the day you allow a man enter into you, you will die, or that man will die.”
Experts Cite Psychological Concerns
However, mental health professionals who weighed in on the matter suggested that psychological or medical explanations should be considered.
A clinical psychologist, Oluwakemi Akintoyese, noted that coercion or health-related issues could explain such behaviour.
She said, “Maybe she was forced into the marriage though parental pressure. So, she’s saying, ‘Oh, yes, you guys can force me to get married, but you cannot force me to have anything to do with him’. That could also be another explanation.
“And again, we also have some medical conditions or reasons why people will not want to have sex. But at least, the most common one that I know of is vaginismus. So, that is one. But for me, as I have said, if all of these are the reasons, I feel she should have opened up to her husband to talk about it. There is a need to explore more. There is a need to speak to her. There is a need to understand her perspective before conclusions can be made.”
Another psychologist, Afolabi Aroyehun, attributed the issue to gametophobia — fear of sexual relations.
“Gametophobia: those who are afraid of sex. A lot of things can make people afraid of sex. Upbringing is one of such issues. Past experience is another thing. Some of them have very terrible childhood traumatic experiences. They have been abused; sexual and psychological abuse.
“Then the society does not let them to be free. It is time for you to get married. Some people would rather not touch the concept called marriage at all. But society will not let you be. Society forces people to get into marriage, even when they are not prepared for the responsibilities and challenges of marriage.
“A lot have been abused sexually and traumatised. A lot of them must have had the complete sexual experience while they were growing up. For example, sadomasochism, where you see husband and wife, they would not enjoy sex unless they inflict injury on each other. And if they tried such sex while growing up, they will be afraid of sex. Well, apart from the fact that some of them have had near-rape experiences, some of them have actually had a real rape experience, and they do not discuss it with people because any attempt to discuss it, their parents will shut them off.”
Marriage counsellor Sunday Anani stressed that emotional connection is fundamental in marital intimacy.
He said, “Sex is an emotional thing. It’s physical, but before the physical comes to bear, there’s first of all an emotional, heart connection. When there is no heart connection between two people, it is difficult, especially in the confines of marriage; difficult, probably impossible, for both of them to agree that sex should happen. If you are pressured to get married to someone that you really do not want to get married to, it would be difficult for you to open up yourself to that person.
“Second thing that I can think of is probably that this person in question may have had some ugly sexual encounters in the past. For example, if this person had been raped or was almost raped or was sexually assaulted, it can make her close up her mind entirely to men. And, in fact, it even starts with she not being open to loving men. But, of course, because of family members, they say, you have to marry, you have to marry.
“Until she heals from that trauma, she will find it difficult because she will always remember the picture of when something similar happened to her. And when that remains in her mind, it will be difficult for her to even relax at all.”
Anani also questioned the decision to proceed with the wedding despite earlier warnings.
“She already said she won’t want sex. If a woman already told you she would not like sex or she doesn’t want it, why are you going ahead to marry such a person?” he added.